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Yes, I’m closing the location of my pottery business, A House of Pots, and discounting all the planters on site. I need to sell them all, and yet I’m in the process of purchasing literal tons more.
There’s hundreds. There’s thousands. There are more than enough and enough to leave you wanting more.
Moreover, while these things are all true, the truth is that this may have led to thoughts that this post was simply going to be all about how you could come up.
(Actually, most plant lovers aren't this way, but let's roll with the theme)
Feel free to come on up to A House of Pots and I can further explain:
A House of Pots
1620 w 74th way Denver CO 80221
Tuesday through Sunday from 12 to 6
(You can call me or send me questions at the following)
<< 909 >> << 744 >> << 7708 >>
- or -
@ahouseofpots
Revisiting our needs though:
All this great pottery. Going out of business prices. 25% to 50% discounts off retail value. It’s exactly what you asked for.
Let's hold on a minute though. Let’s think again. Let's flip the script.
Instead of thinking about how A House of Pots shuttering its location could benefit you, let's focus on what the good plant people of Denver can do for me.
Let us not ask what this legendary postman can do for you – rather, ask yourself what you can do for your potsman.
For I am your potsman.
I am he of the pots.
I am here to tell you how you can help me, and I’m certainly here if you’re here for it.
Hear me out.
First and foremost I need you to understand that while it is probable that I will need to close my namesake location for A House of Pots eventually, this isn’t likely to happen very soon (it’d be the end of September at the soonest), and the business will almost certainly endure elsewhere in the Denver area.
This means that you’ll have plenty of time and opportunities to pick up great pots at discounted prices throughout the Summer. Nevertheless, it is my intent to conduct myself like I’m going out of business, despite the fact I’m bringing in more inventory, like scores of great Talavera.
Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I need you guys, the good plant people of Denver, to help keep my creative juices flowing simply by showing up.
(Don’t come on Mondays though, and you can Google my address to see if I’m open earlier or later on any given day)
I don’t need you to buy anything, but if you like low priced pottery, it’s unlikely that either of us will object.
If you’re into objectively great plant objects and accessories, you’re in luck, as there is lots of great pottery here. Unfortunately most of the plants I used to sell are long gone though with no intent to refuel my supply. That said, I did just acquire 100+ San Pedro cacti, so I’m just a big, needy bag of oxymoron, aren’t I?
While we’re on the subject of neediness, let me tell you about some other things I need.
I need you to tell your friends about A House of Pots — thousands of customers served and a hundred fold more pots sold and I’m still pretty unknown. Tell the ones you love about the kooky pot house you wanna check out or love so much and spread a little joy in this world.
I need your social shares — tagging A House of Pots in a social post, then showing it to your potsman, is a great way to spread the word and pick up some extra discounts or freebies while you’re here.
I need you to realize I will always have pots — no matter the time of year, I have pots. It’s because I buy them by the semi truck load and I’m addicted to bringing the best items from all over the world to Denver (like Talavera).
I need you to keep coming through — I’m here all days except Mondays. I need a show of hands and for you to show face so I can get feedback in person about what moves I’m planning to make next.
I need a new location — any leads on new locations, especially affordable ones near i-25, would be appreciated.
I need a vested partner or two — I’d like to expand, and that I’ve done this all alone is a testament to my extreme pottery powers. Bringing in another person who’d like to dedicate their life, livelihood, and life savings to the power of pottery could take A House of Pots to the next level.
I need employees — if you’d like to learn the price of one million pots, be a doll and let me know.
I need an e-commerce specialist — if you happen to have skills fulfilling online orders, even better. Selling pottery online is the next frontier. People do it on a small scale, 8-inch pots or so or smaller, but no one moves the quantity of pottery I’m capable of digitally. Can you imagine how sweet it would be if 12 pots showed up to your apartment unscathed at a nominal delivery fee in addition to liquidation prices? You know I’m onto something.
I need a videographer — effective video production is a skill I haven’t developed and would be well advised to pay for.
I need you to ask me questions and give me opinions — in person or online, I want to hear what you have to say.
I need you to press that “Hi, is this available?” button — even if you’re not genuinely interested, communicating with me online helps my algorithmic performance.
If you’re dissatisfied that all items displayed aren’t free, because you’re living in some fantasy world where they didn’t cost me thousands of dollars to acquire, I need you to voice your displeasure with me — believe it or not, I’m very concerned about the opinions of non paying customers who have no intent or interest in paying for my goods or services. It’s important that I be put in my place and you may have been put on this earth to do just that.
I need you to understand I don’t care about TLDR — “too long, didn’t read” doesn’t phase me. A long winded writing style has served me well to date and I don’t intend to change my approach anytime soon. If you don’t like reading, it’s important that you let me know this, because your correspondence might just be what I need to finally change my ways.
I need good real estate, zoning, and business law references — the only reason my business or location is in jeopardy is due to zoning and construction constraints on commercial properties. I’d love to speak to educated individuals that can help me navigate the complexities of commercial compliance or take legal action to ensure my rights.
I need your email addresses — for updates regarding my next moves, photos of what just arrived, and to be included in my assorted giveaways.
I need to tell you about what free things I can give you and pottery jargon — I’ll get to these in a moment.
I need about tree fiddy — this one should be self explanatory.
I’m sure there’s a lot more I need from you, but instead of taking up too much of your time, let me tell you what all you can have for free:
Pallets and pallet wood
Broken pots past the point of repair
Cutting from my favorite plant
Clay pots for your smaller kids in attendance
Free admission
Nursery pots when applicable
25% to 50% discounts off regular prices
Potting services
Recommendations on where to buy plants near you
Opportunities to star in your own slow motion break video
Readmission
Styrofoam
Cardboard
Terracotta shards
Resin pots
Information about what comes next
Pottery jargon
You need pottery jargon you say? Here’s a fresh serving:
Westminster needs a planter holder. Commerce City needs pottery. Centennial needs pottery near me, philodendron, and jargon, pottery barn. You need trees and yard sale prices. Thornton needs a pottery shop near me. You love climbing, but need a new pot. Golden, Arvada, and Brighton need a resin pot to service as a vegetable box. Broomfield needs a new monstera. Boulder needs plants near me but they don’t drive so they get nothing. If you need an estate sale and a plant shop, I might be able to address your needs. Loveland needs this pottery store near me. If you need a plant stand Denver, I suggest you plant a mcm pot upside down and put plants on top of it. Need a plant store near me? Well, I’m low on plants, but I do have porcelain, stoneware, and garden gear near Northglenn. Need a cactus, planters, and garage sale prices? I’ve got faux cement, red clay pots, and the reason you need to escape Erie or Castle Rock this Summer. If you’re a needy ceramic gardener living between Parker and Fort Collins, you need some of my great terracotta. I need a green greenhouse, but I’m not sure if customers are willing to go hiking to Wheat Ridge to satisfy their gardening needs. Need cacti? Need tree fiddy? Need pottery shop a reasonable drive from Littleton, Superior, or Greeley? I’m running deals on pots near me that you need Louisville. If you need succulents, I know where to go in Longmont, Aurora, Lakewood. Need pots? Need a succulent, info on how to grow aloe, improve gardens, or just great deals on ceramics? You need to go pottery fishing near Federal Heights and stop being so needy.
You need great pots and I need to go, but before I do, here’s some final words:
<< Say, would you customers like to hear about the time I saw the Loch Ness monster?
Customer:
No, that's okay
Potsman:
Ooh! It must've been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water
Little Lady:
We was so scared, Lawd have mercy, I jumped up in the boat and I said "Potsman, what on earth is that creature?!"
Potsman:
It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes…
Little Lady:
Oh it was so scary!
Potsman:
And I yelled, I said "What do you want from us monster?!" And the monster bent down and said
"I need about TREEFIDDY"
[silence]
Client:
What's treefiddy?
Potsman:
Three dollars and fifty cents
Little Lady:
Treefiddy
Bystander:
He wanted money?
Potsman:
That's right. I said "I ain't giving you no treefiddy you potsdam Loch Ness monster! Get your own potsdam money!"
Little Lady:
I gave him a dollar
Potsman:
She gave him a dollar
Little Lady:
I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar
Potsman:
Well of course he's not gonna go away! You gave him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got more
Potsman:
And that was the third time we saw the Loch Ness monster. Then one time, I believe it was July...
Little Lady:
August
Potsman:
August, there's a knock on the door. I open it, and there's this cute little girl scout
Little Lady:
And she was so adorable with the little pig tails and all
Potsman:
And she says to me "how would you like to buy some cookies?" And I said "Well, what kind do you have?" She had thin mints, graham crunchy things...
Little Lady:
Raisin oatmeal
Potsman:
Raisin oatmeal, and I said "We'll take a graham crunch. How much will that be?" And she looks at me and she says "I need about treefiddy"
Little Lady:
Treefiddy
Potsman:
Well it was about that time that I notice that girl scout was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the palezoic era
Little Lady:
The Loch Ness monster
Potsman:
I said "Dammit monster! Get off my lawn! I ain't giving you no treefiddy!" It said "how about just twofiddy?" I said "Oh now it's only twofiddy?! What is there a sale on Loch Ness munchies or something?!"
Little Lady:
Boy he was angry
Potsman:
Damn right I was angry
Little Lady:
Not you, the monster. He was about to kick your azz!
Potsman:
Hush your mouth, woman
Potsman:
And then these aliens had me up on their ship, right. They was probing me and all that
Little Lady:
We had taco salad that night
Potsman:
Don't matter what we had for dinner woman! Now this alien had a big head and big black eyes, and it was all bent over me. I said "What do you want from me alien?!" and do you know what he said?
Little Lady:
Treefiddy
Potsman:
Let me tell the darn story now! He said "treefiddy" And so I realized I that it wasn't no alien, it was that potsdam Loch Ness monster again trying to trick me into giving him treefiddy by dressing up like an alien. Don't that just beat all?!
Little Lady:
I just given him treefiddy the week before
Potsman:
What?! You gave that monster another darn treefiddy?!
Little Lady:
He tricked me
Potsman:
Well no wonder the darn monster keeps coming back to our house! You keep giving it treefiddy!
Little Lady [running with a stick]:
You damn monster! Get away from my baby!
Potsman [reaching into his pocket]:
Hold on! I'll see if I have treefiddy >>
